I Don’t Care What You Did “When You Were My Age”

(So stop telling me.)

It seems like (and correct me if I’m wrong, but this has been my observations) – it seems like there’s a certain sector of people in the world where once they hit a certain age, something happens inside of them and they’re suddenly only concerned about shoving their life experiences onto other, younger people.

What age is that? That age where you’re certain you can’t possibly learn any more new things in the world? The age where you’re officially “holier than thou” and can give unwarranted life advice to whichever unsuspecting millennial crosses your path?

Do you know anyone like this?

A common thread is that these people love to bring up how much older they are, and apparently by extension that means they are also cynical, jaded and incapable of treating you no more respectfully than they would a puppy that’s afraid to go down the stairs.

As if to say,

“Aw, you’re so sweet and dumb in your inexperience.”

Especially if you say something negative about your life. Apparently you’re not allowed to do that until you hit this certain  “I’m the Miserable Sultan of Everything” age.

Because obviously hating yourself is reserved for 13-year-olds and unsuccessful people in their 30s.  Everything else is part of  “The Best Years of Your Life.” I missed that in the rulebook.

 So act accordingly you 20-something, you, they say. I wish I could still act like that.

I’m sorry that your life is (INSERT WHATEVER COMPLAINT YOU HAVE) because now you’re (AGE WHERE YOU FEEL YOUR LIFE IS ALL OVER) and you need to feel better about yourself by (meddling in mine/being condescending/telling me what to do).

Can we just cut this shit out? Maybe you just suck…and it has nothing to do with your age. Ever think of that?

There’s a time and a place for you to throw around your “sage wisdom” at me.

Like if I asked.

Or if you’re my therapist… or any of my older relatives (because Lord knows I’d get the shit kicked out of me if I didn’t pretend to listen to them).

So I have some advice for you, disgruntled and “stuck” older people:  save it. I’m not listening.

(If are similarly annoyed by unsolicited advice, read this awesome Cracked article: 5 Types of People Who Give Terrible Advice)


6 thoughts on “I Don’t Care What You Did “When You Were My Age”

  1. Very clever Kelsie. However, when I was your age……

    Great stuff. With seven sisters I’ve been preaching this message for 40 years. I laughed my ass off!

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s